Some Steps to Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

    With college starting up again it means that it is time for studying, junk food, and ( yes ) dating. You're going to notice all manner of special guys/gals in your classes, but where before I've brought up some topics about STARTING to build a relationship, it is just as important to know what to do once you're IN one.

Dating in College & BEYOND – Words of Wisdom

   We’ve tackled this issue before here on our University of Texas at Tyler Blog, particularly with this blog and this blog. I felt like adding to the dialogue of this topic since dating and so-forth has been a rather large topic with my friends over the past few months. I’ve shared some thoughts with then and received some as well.

How To Lose a Potential Valentine

I know I should only be focusing on school and classes, but with Valentines Day approaching, I figured this post was very much appropriate.
In college you're going to meet all sorts of people and talk to a lot of people interested in dating you. This guy made it very easy for me to decide that I wanted nothing to do with him.
So, here is how to get rid a potential date, readers, as experienced by me.

1. Say "lol" after absolutely everything.
And when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING.

2. Blow up their inbox.
Sometimes people are busy. Sometimes they're sleep. They're not always ignoring you, I promise.

3. Be condescending.
You can be younger, older, smarter, not so smart, whatever. Take into account that the other person might know what they're talking about.

3. Not be yourself.
You shouldn't try to mold yourself to the other person's interests. Just be yourself!

4. Unneccesarily argue.
If we're already arguing, that's not a good sign for the future.

5. Be flaky.
Stick to your word. When you say you're going to do something, do it. If you say you're going to be somewhere at a certain time, be there at that time.

Basically, just be good to the person you're interested in. Treat your Valentine well. No need to be extravagant or extra-cheesy (unless that's what you like).
And remember that chocolate and compliments go a long way ;)

UT Tyler Meadows Gallery

     The back side of our UT Tyler R. Don Cowan Fine and Performing Arts Center houses our very own art gallery!-The University of Texas at Tyler Meadows Gallery! Every few weeks, they feature a new art exhibition, and it has become something I really enjoy attending.

Tuesday, October the 15th is “East Meets West”! This exhibition showcases the works of artists Suguru Hiraide and Joe Barrington, and will continue to run through Friday, Nov. 9!

    A reception with gallery talks will be 6 – 7:30 p.m. Thursday, Oct. 18 at the gallery. I recommend that people interested in the art attend at this time, because the art always proves more meaningful with a proper background! The  normal Gallery hours are 9 a.m. – 5 p.m. Monday through Friday, but if you can't make it then, they even set up special appointments. :) Sounds like a good date idea to me.

Do you guys notice that as the weather cools down, people start pairing up? :p

Relationships & Responsibility

Relationships & Responsibility on Campus

   This kind of an article is difficult to completely manage a whole “feel” for since the way people view, practice, and experience relationships are all difficult. What I will be focusing on are very loose concepts, however I will try to point to real-world examples from my college experience.

   Also, if my words don’t match up with your religious, cultural, family, or personal beliefs, I apologize!

   MEETING PEOPLE vs. MAKING FRIENDS --- This one might seem obvious at first glance; it is actually a very important thing to think about when you are out and about in social settings. In college we meet anywhere from 50 to 300 new people over the course of a semester, primarily from classes, but also from meet-up study groups, lunch, sports events, and more. College is simply a place with so many people, it can become overwhelming to process everything.

A Senior's Message to Freshmen

   A Message To Incoming Freshmen from a Senior – 

   As I sit here pondering the eight ( yes, eight! ) years this college experience has taken me, I would like to reflect on some things you will encounter as you march along the college road. Am I some expert guru whose wisdom will guarantee you success, or even steer you towards some magical destiny? No, I am not. I leave that kind of advice to mystics on mountain tops and to fortune cookies. What I can offer is perspective and the hope that (perhaps?) my words will be encouraging where needed, as well as sincere.

   Everybody comes from different paths where college is concerned so let me get that out of the way right now. Some people do it because their parents insist, some because they need a degree to advance forward in a career, and lastly because they just want the experience for their life-journey. While I will predominantly speak to the last of these, each can benefit from my story.

   I am an English Major who was once a Film School student with 2 years of experience, a (very) small business history record, and very good connections within said fields ( school and the professional world). I experienced a major set-back regarding my college plan and seemed to have three choices:

11      Move to NYC or LA and try my hand at another film school, or just work towards screenplay writing.

22     Continue with the CSU Degree Plan, regardless of the hiccup(s) there would be.

33      Move home to Texas and seek continued education w/ family and friends as support.

I went with option #3, primarily because I did want a degree in SOMETHING after so much time having been put into the whole experience. This brings me to point one …

POINT #1 – Don’t be afraid to be undeclared … or to change majors.

   College is an experience meant to test your ability to stay with a subject, to commit to the good courses ( my Arthurian literature classes, Ghost Plays, and Literature for Science Majors in my case ), or the ones I was atrocious in ( Modern Grammar, Linguistics, etc… ). I loved them all, however. I may not have exceeded in, say, Civil War Poetry & Political Cartoons, but my professor did a wonderful job and I learned. Regardless of the course, college is an exercise in commitment. It can teach you how, despite possible misgivings about a task, to stick with it and soldier on. I know Contemporary Mathematics, Biology I-II, and Basket-Weaving 101 have *nothing* to do with my major, but then again how does Training Seminars in some businesses relate to fact that you might work in another department and you’re expected to attend anyway? You go ( to the classes and the seminar ) because you are committed to getting your task done.

   Still, what if you are genuinely not happy with the major you are in? I would advise you speak with your Advisor, as well as a professor in the major you are in whom you might feel comfortable discussing your situation with. Afterwards, if you still feel like the major you are in is not for you, work with your Advisor and figure out the best path for you.

   Also, don’t be afraid to talk to advisors in other majors while you are listed as Undeclared. Use that time to feel out your strengths, what your school offers, and how these things can work together to give you the best for your future.

POINT #2 – Don’t pursue your MR or MRS Degree, at least not at the cost of your education.

   This is something I actually hear people discuss in hushed whispers and yet nobody ( at least, nobody I know of )  speaks out against. College is for learning about yourself, your goals, and how you will handle the unexpected. Some people however view college as the place to exclusively find their future husband or wife.

   Please, if you have this notion, table it. Put it aside. Go a year without trying to exclusively hunt your college like a savannah huntsman ( or huntswoman ) looking for a target. In college you very likely don’t even know yourself yet, so how can you expect to meet somebody who is likely to be the exact same person they will be when the college experience is over? Odds are, very unlikely. How unlikely is it that you will also come out of college having fully prepared for getting that job if you are more focused on dating and hubby/wife-hunting? Again, very unlikely.

   Please understand I am not ignoring romance, or genuine attraction. Those things will always trump whatever plans a person makes, however what I am speaking out against is the act of thinking college is where you MUST find that “special someone.” Follow your career and education path to where you need to be to properly sustain yourself, and focus on a special somebody if you are lucky enough, but I would advise you to not have the latter trump the first. You owe your future Mr/Mrs a person who is dedicated to completing tasks and proving him/herself capable of getting a steady job.

   But, again, genuine love always trumps the best laid plans. Follow love if it manifests, but don’t force it for the sake of a schedule.

   POINT #3 – Get work on or off campus if possible … but don’t work too much!

   Everybody knows college costs money, and money these days seems hard to come by. I would advise, where situationally possible, to pursue on-campus work. This might be pursuing something as major-specific as working in a math lab, or even as broad as working for the college bookstore. Jobs are not always easy to acquire so ask for an interview in person with the manager ( in addition to having your own resume handy, a physical one in addition to any online resumes submitted ) and follow up at least to say ‘thank you’. I know it might seem like a lot of work, but the extra cash and the connections it brings are as important as anything else you learn from college – you learn how to take care of yourself.

   POINT #4 – Talk to anyone and everyone, and meet new people, too. Socialize.

   This one might seem like something that is hit or miss, and it very likely is, depending on the person reading, but I think it needs to be stated – college is for expanding your horizons and this also means with people. STOP. This does not mean “meeting new people for sex” or “meet new people as you drink down beer and pass out at a party.”

   I am talking about genuine human to human interaction. Get to know the people you are sitting next to in class. Talk to your professor during his/her office hours and do it without having it be an assignment. Get to know the people who work in the library, or your major department office, etc…

   College is an experience that brings together diverse amounts of people, possibly more than you might feasibly ever get to meet again in your whole life. Take the time to learn and experience as much as you can from these people.