Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Some Steps to Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

    With college starting up again it means that it is time for studying, junk food, and ( yes ) dating. You're going to notice all manner of special guys/gals in your classes, but where before I've brought up some topics about STARTING to build a relationship, it is just as important to know what to do once you're IN one.



   Some people dislike the analogy because it can cast relationships in a grueling light, but dating and maintaining a relationship is a job. You are you own boss, yet you answer to somebody else; you don't get paid, yet you'll be sure to argue for re-assignment if you don't feel you're being compensated correctly, etc...

   Relationships are team acts that people spontaneously try and improve. Live. In front of their friends. And even their families, if they feel brave enough! No matter how many previous relationship acts you participated in at the Circus of Life, every new team-up has challenges and benefits.

   First --- TALK. I know this might seem like a "so easy/important, why mention it?" kind of things, but
really here - talk to the person you're dating. Talk about when you're mad, talk about when you're happy, bring up what you like and what your date/partner does that you like ... or don't like.

   When I say "tell the partner what you don't like" I obviously mean that you should share if they do things that make your uncomfortable, or some-such. Use your own discretion here, but really, you need to share what is on your mind while you date somebody. You might think you're being argumentative sometimes, or that the OTHER person isn't making sense, but either situation gives you evidence of how their mind works.

   Second --- Share things about yourself even if they don't make you look good. I don't explicitly mean you need to gush about every day thing you've ever done, or that you like Nickleback, but you do need to be honest. If you tend to complain a lot, admit it now and own up to it ( and work to get over it, if the other person is worth it! ) vs. having these flaws jump out at the wrong moment and ruin a moment.

   Sharing things might sound like it's apart of "Talk to your partner" but it's deeper than that and deserves it's own space. We all need to learn to ask questions and keep tabs with our Sig. Others, that much is true, however it takes a lot to fess up that we might have anger issues, or we get drunk, or we can be lazy. Sometimes opening up about our flaws to others can help us overcome these issues in ourselves.

   Third - Don't try and change people. Period. While I've mentioned that you need to talk to your Sig. Other and you really should share your issues with them, YOUR JOB IS NOT TO CHANGE THE OTHER PERSON. If somebody thinks you're worth growing stronger for? Awesome, support them if that is their choice ... but only if it is their choice. Growing up means taking responsibility for yourself and accepting that, yes, you might be lazy ... but that special somebody might be worth growing up faster/stronger for. If you push them and poke them and belittle them? You become a kind of emotional bully and you're forcing growth ( which might turn into stunting or hurting the other person ) and if it doesn't come naturally, move on.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is so insightful! Very well written, I like reading your blogs.

Anonymous said...

This is so insightful! Very well written, I like reading your blogs.

Zuhra Imtiaz said...

Nice Post Thanks for sharing
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