Here again I was reading my Intimate Relationships book written by Erber and Erber and I came across a chapter on the dissolution of relationships. One part I came across had me start to think that if this was actually true would it then help the divorce rate go down in America? Well, in this book I came across Six signs to help predict divorce years before there could even be a divorce. In 1994 a man by the name of John Gottman developed these signs after studying many couples in his research lab. Here they are:
—1. Harsh start up – disagreements that start with negativity will likely end in greater negativity.
—2. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse – Criticism, –Contempt, –Defensiveness, –Stonewalling
—3. Flooding – occurs when one partner’s criticism, contempt, or defensiveness becomes overwhelming to the point of being overbearing.
4. Body language – physiological arousal that makes rational discussion and problem solving impossible.
—5. Failed repair attempts – when repair attempts that were once used successfully, such as an apology, joke, smile, or laugh, now fail.
—6. Bad memories – the history of the relationship is now recalled with a negative cast.
Do you think that by learning these tell tale signs that a divorce will never be in your future? Let me know what you think!
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