A College Student's Guide To Hiding From Monsters (and other scary things)

Those sheets used to be white

College can be a scary time for any individual. New people, new places, and new things (along with many other nouns) together can be very intimidating to most individuals. But, we're dealing with an issue of much more seriousness here.... We're dealing with monsters. Yes, that's right. Monsters. The kind that have been living under your bed and hiding in your closet since you were 5 years old. It is however important to keep in mind that these monsters are not here to eat you... they merely want to scare the crap out of you. I'm pretty sure there are quite a few of you who are as scared of monsters as I am. So, with my 4 simple rules you will be able to thwart any monster.

1) If you are in a sufficiently lit room you are safe. However, anywhere there is a shadow a monster can hide.... and scare the crap out of you.

2) If the TV is turned on and there are no lights on in the room you are safe. However, if you're eyes begin to wander away from the TV and you look at a darkened area in the room a monster will jump out.... and scare the crap out of you.

3) If there is another person in the room with you, you are safe. However, they must be able to see you and you them at all times or a monster will jump out.... and scare the crap out of you.

4) It is always a bad idea to hide under the covers. If you are partially exposed there is only a slight chance the monsters will get you. If you hide under the covers you no longer have the advantage of being able to see it coming so as soon as you come out from under the covers a monster will jump out.... and scare the crap out of you.

Despite all this there is something consistently wrong with all of these rules (I know I made these up to begin with but let me finish). The ultimate goal of each of these rules is to successfully hide from your fears. Now this is something that I just won't stand for. I believe it is extremely important to face your fears directly. If you hide from your fears and put them in the back of your head they get bigger and bigger until you can't handle it anymore. And that's just not healthy. You should first recognize then face your fears head on with no remorse or regret.... because your fears showed you neither.

This tackling of fears can also be applied to many students' (don't deny it) procrastination. Procrastination is not truly seeded in your dislike of the assignment but more of your fear of the assignment. The main fear in this situation is the fear of not being able to succeed no matter what you may do and that the assignment is too much to handle for one person. However, if you face the assignment with a positive attitude and start on it as soon as possible (as in the day it's assigned) you will find that the task at hand is not as daunting as you previously thought and when you get your grade back you will find that things turned out better than expected. In the end it's important to remember that hiding from your fears is only a temporary solution to a large problem. In the end you'll have to face them no matter what... So why not sooner than later?

Til next time, fellow believers. But until that time here's The Police for your listening and viewing pleasure.

life cheat # 3068: A flame thrower or any flaming weapon should the last thing you go for in the zombie apocalypse. Think about it. At first you had a normal zombie horde coming after you... Now they're on fire... What do you do then?