Can a gesture of goodwill have the adverse effect?

I'm still groggy from my nap about an hour ago. I drove about 4 1/2 hours to and from Dallas today. I know that doesn't seem like much, but it took a toll on my body today for some reason; probably because I worked out very late yesterday evening. I went to Dallas in order to get an international passport for a trip to Nicaragua at the end of this month. (You can go to a regional passport agency if you plan to fly out of the country in less than 14 days and still require a passport to due, provided you have the necessary application requirements.)

As a member of the student organization SIFE and our Clean Water Campaign for the Tyler SIFE Team, 6 students and Dean Doty from the College of Business and Technology will be flying to Nicaragua to take part in a service project to build water distribution systems in Managua from February 24 to March 1, 2010. I look forward to telling you more about this exciting project and great student organization, but I just want to express something that bothered me from my trip to Dallas today...

After I walked out of the Dallas Passport Agency, I realized that I had a few minutes to spare before returning to Tyler. Also, I was a little hungry and I needed a few minutes to simply rest before getting back on the road. So what do I see conspicuously plotted on its own island directly across the street from the passport agency? Here's a clue: Its golden arches feeds salty-goodness to nearly 47 million people everyday. McDonald's. What else, right?

I decided that it would be nice to have sit-down to have an ice cream and a small burger before hitting the road again. So I jogged across the street to beat the red hand that tells me I shouldn't be jogging across the street, and I began walking towards the McDonald's. But as I did so, I saw a man sitting on one of the benches in front of the building. His clothing--a worn, plaid t-shirt; a heavy, navy blue hoody with white lining; black and white striped pants that flared out at the bottom; and a dirty, black toboggan that he wore on his head--coupled with his facial features signaled to me that the man was likely homeless. Even though he couldn't have been older than 25 years of age, he had the kind of eyes and rough facial features that told me he has survived through difficult times and he exuded the maturity of an individual that has been forced to come to grips with the world as he knows it.

As I walked toward his direction, I asked "How's it going?" "Good," he replied. "Hey... can you spare some change?" I stopped walking and dug into my left pocket. As I searched through my iPhone headphones, gel pen, and mechanical pencil, I felt some metal loosely jiggling around and heard the clanging of what sounded like some change. After further inspection I found that is was only my keys and apologized to the man. I didn't have any cash either, so I continued to make my way to McDonald's. Seeing me doing so, the man asked "Hey, are you going to McDonald's?" I said "Yea. You want me to get you something?" He acknowledged that he did and after asking if a cheeseburger would work for him I finally made my way into McDonald's.

"Hi! Can I get an ice cream cone, a cheeseburger... umm... a Big N' Tasty aanndd... medium french fries? Thank you!" After 60 seconds, I grabbed the bag of food from the woman behind the counter, thanked her for handing me the salty-goodness, and found a table to sit at. After I took out all of my food, the man I had met outside on the bench came inside in perfect-timing. I handed him the bag with his cheeseburger inside and proceeded to chow down on my meal as he sat at the table across from me and faced my direction. We didn't say much... we didn't say anything really. We just sort of sat there, both of us surveying the room and our surroundings. Toward the end of his meal, he asked "My man... what time do you have?" "2:15," I responded. He crumpled up the cheeseburger wrapper, through it in his bag, and headed back outside.

It was at that time I began to question myself. 'Am I being selfish? I have money; he doesn't. Yet, I am sitting here eating a full-meal when I could only spare this gentleman a $1 burger. And I'm not even that hungry! What if he is?' I decided that I would save some fries for the man so that I could offer them to him after I passed him on the way to my car. I followed the same routine--crumpling my wrapper, throwing it in trash, and heading outside.

As I walked outside, I began doubting my decision. Am I right to offer this man left-over food from my meal? Would that not be offensive? 'Hey, here's some fries that I didn't finish. Do you want my scraps?' I don't want to offend the man, I simply want to make a gesture of goodwill to let him know someone cares and offer him food if he is still hungry, but how will he perceive my actions? Before I could gather my thoughts and come to a conclusion on how I would act, the man said "All right big dog. Take care!" "You too," I replied with the fries still in hand. I walked away even more unsure because of my lack of initiative.

Crossing the street--this time the green man signaling to me that it was okay to do so--I replayed the scene in my head as I focused on the ground beneath my feet. Shaking my head at what just happened, I instinctively turned my head over my left shoulder to catch a final glimpse of the man. He was gone. The 2:20 bus arrived early and was driving off. Man... as simple as this scenario is, my inaction left me with some doubt.

Can a gesture of goodwill have the adverse effect of its purposed intention? Unfortunately, I think I already know the answer...